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I have never been a fan of dieting. Usually, if my pants start to feel tight, I just eat less and exercise more, but let me tell ya, as I get older, it’s harder and harder to lose the “love handle” or the “bread handle”, as I like to call it. Remember when I kept trying to make sourdough bread? Yeah, that caught up to my pants. I was on the verge of just wearing stretchy pants everywhere, and then I had to basically smack myself silly.

So while at dinner a few nights ago with my friends Steph and Rudy, we had a conversation about losing a few pounds and Steph told me about this wonderful diet she does that magically makes any unwanted flabs disappear that sounded simple enough: no carbs! So we decided that we should stop eating carbs for 2 weeks straight…starting that night…as we drank our beers. Okay, I guess starting the following day really, since you know, beer happened.

As we talked about this more and more, I was thinking in my head “I won’t last a day because I can’t imagine not having any carbs or sweets for 2 weeks”, but I am a sucker for a challenge, especially if the challenge involves my self-discipline, so I decided to do it. As I write this, I am still on the no-carb thing and I only have a few days left and I couldn’t be more excited to eat bread and dessert again!

I decided that the only good thing about this diet is that I do feel lighter and I don’t have that whale-feeling as much after I eat, but DAMN, this is hard. Really, really hard, and I’m a basket case at the moment! It also doesn’t help that I lost the love of my life during this challenge, my 13-year old chocolate lab. I couldn’t have picked the worst time to stop eating carbs. It kind of helps that I didn’t have an appetite for a few days, because let me tell you, I always eat my feelings away and this is probably the only time in my life that I was so upset that I didn’t eat much. Rare, very rare, and it isn’t something I want to ever repeat again.

So you know how when you deprive yourself of something, you then begin to crave the exact thing you are not supposed to have, like a big ole burger and the most delicious truffle fries and PIZZA? All I’ve wanted since day one of this whole challenge was to eat a big slice of pizza, so I had to improvise, and I’m so glad I did. This cauliflower crust pizza not only satisfied my craving, it actually turned out very good that it might just make a regular appearance in my kitchen.

Note: Unlike recipes I found online, I didn’t steam the cauliflower first. I found that precooking it made the crust mushy and I liked the texture better by not precooking the cauliflower. I found that this crust works really well with white pizza. I used fresh homemade ricotta cheese and mozzarella cheese and my favorite pizza veggies then drizzled with some truffle oil. But by all means, play with your food and add whatever you wish. Pizza should always be personal in my opinion! Enjoy!

photos by Maria Kennedy

(click here for full Grocery List)

1 head cauliflower
½ cup grated parmesan cheese
½ teaspoon garlic powder
½ teaspoon onion powder
½ teaspoon dried oregano
½ teaspoon sesame seeds
½ teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1 tablespoon olive oil

  • Line a medium-size pizza pan or a cheesecake mold (works best if you want a thicker pizza) with parchment paper, and then preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
  • Cut the cauliflower into florets and then pulse in a food processor until it has a texture of cornmeal. Place in a bowl and mix all the ingredients, including the eggs until it is well combined.
  • Place the cauliflower mixture onto the pizza pan and spread into a circle like a pizza crust. Use a spoon to flatten it then dab with a paper towel to get rid of excess moisture . Drizzle the olive oil all over the crust, and then bake for 20 minutes.
  • Remove from the oven and pour out any liquid or absorb it with a paper towel.
  • Add your favorite toppings then bake again for 10 -15 minutes longer.


Grocery List:

1 head cauliflower
garlic powder
onion powder
dried oregano
sesame seeds
grated parmesan cheese
olive oil